While everyone’s wedding is different and each couple want something uniquely theirs, here are some basics that can help you decide what should go where in the ceremony. Tying the hands, jumping the besom and cakes and ale can slot with ease and seamlessly into this basic structure or can be ommitted. If the ceremony is a handfasting (and not a legal wedding) the legal sections can also be ommitted.
Further down the page, you’ll also find a range of different vows you can use. Please feel free to use them as is or mix and match to make something work especially for you. Amethyst will also work with you to design your very own ceremony where you would like something completely different or unique.
The Typical Pagan Wedding Framework
Discrete Circle Casting
Many couples choose to have a sacred space created prior to the entrance of the bride.
Processional (or Bridal March)
The bridesmaids enter, followed by the bride with the person or people who will give her away. This usually occurs to music.
Welcoming
The celebrant introduces herself and welcomes the friends and family gathered to watch the celebrations. If it’s to be a legal wedding ceremony (rather than a handfasting or vow renewal) the celebrant also explains that she is authorised to solemnise marriages.
Giving Away
The bride may choose to be given away. She can be given away by;
- her father/mother/brother/sister/other family member or friend.
- The bride and groom can both be given away be their respective parents.
- The bride can be given away by her parents.
- The bride can giver herself away.
The bride and groom can give themselves away to each other.
Introduction
The celebrant talks about the couple’s commitment to each other and what they have said marriage means to them. The celebrant might also talk about anything else that’s personal about the way the couple met etc.
Reading (Optional)
A close friend or family member can read some poetry, some verses or some other relevant passage here. Alternatively there may be a song sung.
Monitum
This is the section that must be delivered where the celebration is a legal wedding. It is not required for a handfasting or renewal of vows. The celebrant delivers a brief statement outlining the solemnity of marriage etc as determined by the Marriage Act of 1961, Division 2, Section 46.
Declaration of Intention to Marry
This is a section that must also be delivered where the celebration is a legal wedding. It’s not required for a handfasting or renewal of vows. The celebrant delivers a brief statement which articulates the declaration of intention to marry as determined by the Marriage Act 1961, Division 2, Section 45(2).
Tying the hands and/or Vows
The couple repeat their vows of commitment to one another here that can either be personally tailored or come from more traditional sources.
Ring Ritual
Here the couple exchange rings with each other or the groom gives a ring to the bride. Alternatively thee couple may choose to give a particular gift to each other which symbolises their life long commitment to each other.
Jumping the Besom
The couple can jump the besom at this point.
Cakes and Ale
The couple may choose to include a small cakes and ale ritual at this point.
The Declaration
At this point the celebrant announces the couple as “man and wife” or “husband and wife”.
Signing the Register
Where the wedding is a legal ceremony, the couple and the two witnesses sign the Marriage Register, the Certificate of Marriage and the Marriage Certificate. Music may be played here while the couple and witnesses sign the documents.
Congratulations and Presentation to Family and Friends
The celebrant congratulates the couple and introduces them to those gathered. This may be as “Mr and Mrs…” or simply as “bride’s name and groom’s name”.
Recessional
The bride and groom leave the ceremony area, followed by the bridal party and then the family and friends. This is usually to music.
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Sample Vows
I, (name), take you, (name),
to be my much loved husband,
to be my faithful partner,
and to share my love from this day forward.
I now give to you
in the presence of our family and friends,
my promise to always be by your side as your truly devoted wife,
both in sickness and in health,
both the good and the bad times.
Every day and every night I pledge,
I will always love you without reservation,
give you comfort, support you in each and every way,
laugh, cry and share experiences with you,
grow with you in every way,
always be open, honest and forgiving,
cherish and support you as long as we both shall live.
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To you this day, I give my vow of love and respect.
I will walk beside you always,
I will grow with you in love,
I will cherish the time we spend together.
Each day that passes will be spent honouring your soul, honouring your heart.
My one true love (name), please take this heart felt vow,
as the deepest pledge of my love and commitment to you and the marriage I hold sacred.
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To you I give my troth…
Our journey thus far has been as hills and valleys with joy and with sorrow. Life has challenged us, we have challenged us. I don’t regret any of those days because they have brought us to the now and for that I am grateful. I live my life with you now knowing much more about you, more about me and so much more about the “us” we know we deserve.
So on this day, and every day, I promise to honour who you are and who you want to be.
I will listen and not just hear.
I shall ask and not assume.
I will talk with you and not at you.
I vow to respect the quality of the time we spend together.
For all the days of our life together, I will be thankful, knowing you chose to share them with me.
Each day of our shared journey, I promise to honour you, your soul, your core, by giving you my love and by receiving yours.
These things I promise each and every day to you, my life’s love.